I sort of dislike the idea of blogging. But I’ll be putting content up onto this site, so I should at least make a positive start, get some fresh paint, update the theme and spruce things up.
I need to test a few mechanisms and plugins over the next few weeks, and tie in some portfolio work I’ve been recalcitrant on adding, due to incompleteness.
That, and its 4am. So I can’t think of anything productive at this point, I have to be up in 4 hours.
There’s nothing quite as discordant as preparing to do just one thing all week, then turning up to an empty room; waiting for friends to arrive, or at least someone you know. And generally losing your confidence as time slips past, very slowly.
I’d planned to run through a proposal for a 5 month game design project. had some notes ready, a presentation, a group of people to work with, etc.
… Nobody showed up.
20 hours to tie an idea together from largely nothing, form a backstory, put up some sketches and a workload, and *bzzt* nothing. No contact, no apology, no feedback. Nothing.
I would feel angry, but it is, ultimately, where I have chosen to be. In as much as I don’t know the people, I don’t have the skill or the experience; I have an idea, and now I have no team. I should feel some shame or grief or guilt, mostly it’s curious abandonment, I have to start again, or follow another North Star, another bright light towards a distant destination.
And, its not a very original story, not a very difficult concept, it’s not challenging. Not at all. It’s sufficiently stupid, and sufficiently engaging. But I still feel attached to this vestigial idea, and it will never happen.
Continue reading “My errant game design project – week 1” »