There’s nothing quite as discordant as preparing to do just one thing all week, then turning up to an empty room; waiting for friends to arrive, or at least someone you know. And generally losing your confidence as time slips past, very slowly.
I’d planned to run through a proposal for a 5 month game design project. had some notes ready, a presentation, a group of people to work with, etc.
… Nobody showed up.
20 hours to tie an idea together from largely nothing, form a backstory, put up some sketches and a workload, and *bzzt* nothing. No contact, no apology, no feedback. Nothing.
I would feel angry, but it is, ultimately, where I have chosen to be. In as much as I don’t know the people, I don’t have the skill or the experience; I have an idea, and now I have no team. I should feel some shame or grief or guilt, mostly it’s curious abandonment, I have to start again, or follow another North Star, another bright light towards a distant destination.
And, its not a very original story, not a very difficult concept, it’s not challenging. Not at all. It’s sufficiently stupid, and sufficiently engaging. But I still feel attached to this vestigial idea, and it will never happen.
Those other inventive ideas, those few challenges, are a bit beyond the scope of a game.
in a few days, I have the choice to go it alone, find strangers to help, or abandon any attempt to salvage dignity and join another project. I expect I’ll be choosing #3, after attempting #1 and #2 again.
So, I expect to be moderately disappointed tomorrow, I have a few hours to sit around, sketch out a simpler version of a game with more pictures, task breakdowns, art & dialogue, music and light/mood,
at this stage, there’s just no reason to waste the time.